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Writer's pictureEvan Collins

There's Still Time: Remembering the Dead

Many of us today are trying to navigate what it means to be authentically Catholic in our daily lives. We are living in the world, and yet we want our lives to be determined by something beyond worldly concerns. Part of the great gift of our faith is that the Church presents certain aspects to be reflected upon and incorporated into our lives throughout the year. Instead of a fire hose spraying you in the face with 1,000 novenas, chaplets, and disciplines a holy life can actually be very manageable, though not thoughtless. Right now is no different. It is fall, going on winter, and it is no coincidence during this time of the leaves dying (beautifully turning red, yellow, orange, and brown) that November is traditionally regarded as the month of the Souls in Purgatory.

purgatory

There are plenty of apologetics resources out there explaining or arguing in favor of purgatory. I won’t rehash those points here. What I will say is that I prefer two Scripture passages when thinking about purgatory: St. Paul in 1 Corinthians 3:11-15 and Jesus in Matthew 5:25-26 and 12:32. From there I understand three things: purgatory is the process whereby souls who die in authentic, but impure love of God receive necessary purification (and that purification is painful), what needs to be purified is like a weight that needs to be borne away or a debt that needs to be paid, and that purgatory is the place, post-death, where we have certain sorts of sins forgiven by God’s love.

 

So we have all sorts of implications here. What is important is to understand that purgatory exists as a place of God’s merciful love, but, despite its reason for existence being mercy it is a place of love-suffering or atonement. The mercy of God’s very icon is the crucifixion, the pierced heart of Jesus. The word traditionally ascribed to purgatory (and acts of mercy for that matter) is that it is a place of penance. Purgatory isn’t heaven, but if someone died and goes to purgatory they are in a half-way house to heaven inevitably. In my opinion the greatest imaginative appreciation for the reality of purgatory is captured in the second book of Dante’s Divine Comedy, Purgatorio, and in C.S. Lewis’ short book, The Great Divorce. So what is the point of clarifying this?

 

We should not assume, despite our hopeful trust in God, that those whom we love (our friends and ancestors) died and went straight to heaven. We just shouldn’t. In fact, it is not honoring them to do so. My reason for this is simple, we should treat others the way we want to be treated. I personally know that I am not perfect, my love is not perfect, and I have not rectified all the wrongs caused by my sins. I sincerely hope that when I die I receive last rites, a good Catholic burial and that my relatives and friends regularly pray for my soul (at least on the day of my death). If this is what I hope for then I ought to do the same for my relatives and friends. If you, like me, have often failed to do this in your life, fret not! November is the perfect month to begin, even at its very end.

 

Many of us desire to still speak with and even show our love to those who we loved on earth in our lives. We each have aunts, uncles, parents, grandparents, cousins, friends, and community members who are dear to us who have already left this side of the veil. So many people made profound impacts on our story and were held dear to our hearts while they were alive. In our Catholic faith we know that death is not the final say. Instead of simply thinking about them or even writing out our grief (which are both beautiful things) we can also authentically speak with our loved ones (not using a medium or ouiji board!). We can speak with them through prayer, through the communion of love rooted in Jesus Christ and sustained by the power of the Holy Spirit who holds us all together as the Body of Christ. In our prayers, in that bond of love,  we can actually do something for them right now. We can assist their purification in purgatory, through prayer and charitable works.

 

This all might be sounding a little too strange. That is fine! It is weird. We only do this as Catholics because it is a part of our revealed faith. But I would argue not doing it is stranger. We know that the Church lives in the Trinity’s Love and that the God is eternal. We ought to be confident in God’s desire to save all souls and hopeful of those we loved dying in love with the Lord. But this hope in love changes our lives. We should live it! Our faith is personal and yet communal. We are saved together. Everything I will say in this article will only make sense in the context of a burning and intimate love of God, and, within that love of God, a sincere love of our neighbor (including our family!) that unites us in God. I want to propose three practices that we can do to act as if we believe in the mercy of purgatory and the resurrection of the dead.

 

1.      Hallow Their Graves

 

One of the simplest things that you can do is get in the habit of praying when you pass any cemetery. I suggest this:

 

First, start simple. If all you can remember to do is make the sign of the cross, then do that! The sign of the cross is a powerful prayer which incorporates our body and soul. In it we recall the two fundamental mysteries of love which give our life hope that our faith reveals to us: the trinity and the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

 

Second, incorporate the traditional prayer for the dead. It goes like this:

 

Eternal rest grant unto them O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them.

 

Third, mean it. Reflect upon those words. Remember those whom you love, and intentionally pray from the heart for them. Pray in gratitude and in joyful trust in our good Father. I find that linking these sorts of things together (without putting any pressure on myself) lets praying for the faithful departed become a normal part of my life.

 

Another simple, and yet profound, thing you can do is to visit regularly the graves of your loved ones. Make it a pilgrimage site in your life. I believe this to be true whether you live near or far from the grave. If you live far, plan a special pilgrimage (within reason) to visit briefly. If you live close, perhaps consider making it a monthly occurrence or at least annual in November. I will share briefly what I do.

 

Since I grew up in St. Louis, MO the graves of most of my loved ones are located near my mother’s house. As a result, I have to be intentional to visit the grave. This is a task I am more than willing to undertake. Why? For two reasons. Graves are holy places. The Catholic cemetery or Catholic grave is an extension of the Church. Every altar is a grave of sorts. Originally altars were erected over the graves of the first Christian martyrs. Over time it become part of tradition and custom that each altar contains within it a first-class relic of a canonized saint, an actual piece of the person. So a visit to a grave is a holy thing to do. Second, I believe it has power on its own terms. There is something deeply transformative about visiting the grave of someone you love out of gratitude and love. It facilitates grief, but it is more than that. To intentionally transform that visit into an act of love, an act of penance, on behalf of the souls in purgatory (especially the specific person whose grave you are visiting) is a powerful experience of the Church’s existence. I don’t draw it out. I simply take a moment of silence to grieve and be grateful. Then, I pray a divine mercy chaplet or rosary (depending on how much time I have). I close with the sign of the cross and leave. Simple as that.

 

It is a great habit (and reminder) to visit the grave on the anniversary of a loved one’s death or birthday, or All Souls day (November 2, or the eight days following it). Since I have a large amount of loved one’s who died in November and are buried in the same graveyard I pick a day in November, usually the anniversary of my father’s death, to visit my living family before, after, or during and make a small sliver of that intentional time at the grave. I don’t regret it at all. It has been a beautiful practice of consolation, grief, and gratitude. I find it to be a powerful testimony to my belief in the resurrection of the body and merciful love of Jesus Christ.

 

2. Incorporate into your daily (or weekly) prayer a simple intention and petition for the holy souls.

 

Pope St. Paul VI in his apostolic constitution Paenitemini calls on the faithful to zealously embrace penance in their own lives in a manner that is fitting for their state in life. I won’t tread into the raging waters surrounding what we ought to do on Fridays (I have my opinions…), but what I will say is this. Every Friday of the year that is not a solemnity is a day of penance. As such we ought to take time to recall Jesus’ passionate love for us, love unto the cross and into the heaven’s toward the right hand of the Father. Might I suggest that we, at least on Fridays, attempt to entrust the souls of those we love (and all those in purgatory) to the Sacred Heart of Jesus through the Immaculate Heart of Mary?

 

If only doing this on Friday is too little for you, I understand. So I have another idea based on the practices of the saints and traditions of the Church. In the morning before you begin your day or at night before you go to sleep offer your love and good deeds for the day (or the following day) as an act of charity for the souls of those who have passed. Say it whatever way makes sense to you. Luckily prayers are not magic spells and we can simply unite our intentions with the Lord in a our daily dialogue with Him. Jesus will distribute the graces as needed, but we ought to remember to ask intentionally. As Jesus said in Luke 11:9-10 and Matthew 7:7-8: Ask and it will be given, seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened. So confidently ask for those you love.

 

A more extraordinary version of praying for the holy souls would be to, during those anniversaries (perhaps just one) or in that first octive of November to have a mass said for their soul. This can be done through your parish priest or a religious community. When my father died a number of years ago I had a priest do the very traditional practice known as Gregorian Masses, where he offered mass for 3o consecutive days for the soul of my father. I am grateful to have done it.

 

3.  Be weird and embrace indulgences.

 

One of the strangest (and most misunderstood) teachings of the Catholic Church is the practice of indulgences. I won’t give a comprehensive theology of the teaching here. I defer you to paragraphs 1471-1478 in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. I simply state that you shouldn’t believe in a caricature of indulgences and charitably have faith seeking understanding with this beautiful practice. I am going to take indulgences as a given. I won’t prove why they exist here.

 

A necessary theological idea to grasp indulgences is that sin has two consequences. The natural consequence of mortal sin is that the sinner has chosen to make themself incapable, if they remain in that state, of entering eternal life. For venial sin and sacramentally forgiven mortal sin there still remains an unhealthy attachment to earthly creatures (things that aren’t God) which impedes our union with God and shrinks our love. We call the purification necessary for this reality “temporal punishment.” It hurts to realign or misshapen love. In order for temporal punishment to be removed we must receive, in the context of the sacrament of confession, or choose outside of the sacrament penances to atone for this reality. Actions and prayers that re-order our love for God. The language of punishment is archaic to most of us. So think of it this way. We want to live holy lives. Inasmuch as we are unhealthily attached to any thing in a way where we are placing it above God or are not loving it through our love of God that needs to change. God loves creation. He loves it all, but we must treasure and use creation as instruments of His love, gifts from His love, rather than items for our possession or undue glorification. Creation should bring us to glorify God, not itself. By doing works of mercy and charity, by growing in prayer, and by embracing penance we are rightly ordering our soul and transforming the way we live in the world. All these good works of the saints who were living Christ-like lives of authentic love accumulate an excess of spiritual goods that the Church holds in her heart. We call this the Church’s treasury. It is this treasury that supplies the graces obtained by indulgences.

 

Since we are all genuinely a part of Christ’s Body spiritually we can share in each other’s sanctifying works as Christians. The Church wants to make this as easy and habitual as possible. So, in her wisdom, she gradually clarified the habit of prescribing what we now call indulgences. An indulgence is simply a remission before God of the temporal punishment due for sin’s whose guilt has been forgiven. While we are still alive we do plenty of practices which remit our temporal punishment (works of mercy and charity, regular or special prayer, and acts of penance). Think of indulgences as a stream-lined aspect of this reality which can be done for ourselves, but also (as an act of charity toward our neighbor) on behalf of the souls in purgatory. If you want the revised and official list of indulgences and how to obtain them consider purchasing the Manual of Indulgences, but as this is difficult to acquire a physical copy I would recommend finding a pdf of it online.

 

Here is the gist: Indulgences can be plenary, that is they remit all temporal punishment due to sin, or partial, that is they remove part of the temporal punishment due to sin. To obtain an indulgence you must be a baptized Catholic, in a state of grace (that is, not in a state of mortal sin) at the time you are performing the actions with the attached indulgence. We should all already be striving to be in this state at all times, it is what love compels us to do. You also must have the intention of gaining the indulgence, perform the actions within the specified timeframe, and perform the actions in a devout manner. You can obtain as many partial indulgences as you want in a day, but only one plenary a day (unless you are dying, in which case you can obtain two). A person, in addition to being in a state of grace, must also not love sin, mortal or venial, and sincerely desire to not commit any sin. This does not mean that if you sin after trying to obtain an indulgence that you were attached to sin. What is important is that you are living in the resolution to be free from sin and performing the next right steps toward such freedom in God’s grace, just like we do every time we go to confession. After performing whatever the specific actions are for the indulgence you must receive holy communion, go to confession, and pray for the intentions of the Holy Father (one Our Father and one Hail Mary said devoutly is enough). You should sincerely desire to pray for the Pope and receive communion on the day of the indulgence, but if that is not possible it is sufficient to do them several days before or after the necessary action for the indulgence . Regarding confession, one confession can cover a multitude of indulgences, plenary or partial, but it must be within three weeks before or after the necessary actions for the indulgence. If you are trying to obtain a plenary indulgence but all the conditions are not met, in Christ’s mercy the indulgence becomes partial and still bears that power to remit part of the temporal punishment for sin as applied.

 

So what can you do now that you have the power of knowledge regarding indulgences? How can your life incorporate this great act of mercy? Here are three of the easiest ones that you could practice every day in November, or every Friday, or every significant day (heck, every day!) to obtain a plenary indulgence:

-     Adore Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament for thirty minutes or more.

-     Recite five decades of the rosary in a church, religious community, or family.

-     Read Sacred Scripture for at least thirty minutes.

 

Here are some you can do for partial indulgences:

-     Perform works of charity or give out of charity

-     Pray to the merciful heart of Jesus

-     Recite the rosary

-     Examine your conscience

-     Visit a cemetery or pray for the dead

-     Make the sign of the cross

-     Renew your baptismal vows

 

Equipped now with the teaching of the Catechism and the lists in the Manual you are ready for the last few days of November, and, perhaps, every Friday and those special days of remembrance this upcoming liturgical year.

 

Don’t miss out on this great act of charity of praying for the souls of the departed in purgatory. If you went to daily mass, monthly confession, prayed a family rosary each day and intentionally prayed for the intentions of the Holy Father during family prayer (and had no attachment to sin) you could obtain a plenary indulgence every single day of the year. If you have an attachment to sin you are at least able to obtain multiple partial indulgences every day. I am not saying you need to do any of those things, but simply presenting them as existing for your discernment as you attempt to build your faith life (and your family’s!). Indulgences are meant to inspire life-changing habits within the faithful that deepen their conversion, prevent them from needing to go to purgatory, and enable them to practice the habit of charity each day. They don’t replace the grace of the mass or the sacraments, instead they are a gratuitous add-on to our faith life. Something that enhances every moment of our day, even the one’s we can’t be in mass, to help us keep our lives hallow like our Father’s name. So embrace them. Be weird. Be Catholic.

 

May the souls of the faithful departed rest in peace. And for those of our loved ones already enjoying that great joy and peace of heaven’s love, pray for us!

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